How willful ignorance perpetuates hate against your fellow Kansans

Kansas Reflector welcomes opinion pieces from writers who share our goal of widening the conversation about how public policies affect the day-to-day lives of people throughout our state. Brenan Riffel is a graduate student studying higher education administration at the University of Kansas, where she serves as both an academic adviser and assistant complex director. 

I’m going to be honest — a lot has happened since I last wrote in Kansas Reflector. We saw a great victory in protecting abortion rights, and this is a battle that continues. Rep. Cheryl Helmer, who attacked Rep Stephanie Byers, myself and the trans community via email in April lost her primary race.

For me, the Aug. 2 elections were a tremendous win. However, they are only one step in a long fight to protect ourselves and other Kansans. We have to continue this same type of energy in November and beyond.

However, I also need to be realistic. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. The fact that we are fighting for these rights is concerning. The fact that I personally receive messages almost daily to my Facebook or Twitter accounts attacking me for my identity is tiring. After the story came out about my communication with Helmer, I received a lot of hate messages via Facebook. Those messages have decreased on Facebook but have shifted to transphobes on Twitter.

I shouldn’t be desensitized, but I am.

I want to touch today on how ignorance and willful ignorance perpetuate hate.

I cannot blame anyone for being ignorant. We live different lives. We may share identities; we may hold different identities. We may have grown up in different times and in different communities. We may understand technology differently and hold different spiritual beliefs.

Last time I wrote about how important it is to show compassion before necessarily understanding someone fully. However, there is a difference between not understanding and being unwilling to learn. Often those who refuse to learn use their ignorance as an excuse for their hate and prejudice.

That’s why I want to separate someone who truly isn’t aware from someone who makes the conscious decision to remain in the dark or only receive information from sources they know will appease them.

Ignorance equals an opportunity to learn — to grow.

Willful ignorance is a conscious effort to shut down and signal that you don’t care and are willing to perpetuate hate. I mean, if the hate you are showing doesn’t affect you, why should you care? Because these are peoples’ lives we are talking about.

We don’t live in silos. Our inaction, our unwillingness to learn, or our willingness to ignore people being hurt affects others.

Something I hear a lot is: “Hey, I don’t agree with you being trans. It makes me uncomfortable.”

You feeling uncomfortable with my identity as a trans enby does not justify making me unsafe.

There is a huge difference between being uncomfortable and making someone feel unsafe. I explain this when I lead workshops here on campus, but typically it is within a different context.

Often when we feel uncomfortable it is because we 1) don’t understand something, 2) something is new to us, or 3) the thing making us uncomfortable is really making us examine ourselves and we have things to reckon with.

When I hear messages like that now, I just ignore them. Not because I don’t feel education is important, but because those who reach out to harass me aren’t coming to me with an open mind or open heart.

If you are uncomfortable with me being trans, it’s most likely because you’ve been taught that being trans is bad, that being trans is just a “choice” or have never heard a trans voice because our voices are often silenced.

I’m lucky. I’ve only received messages. Occasionally I notice people staring at me. Sometimes people in person have referred to me as a “thing” or “it” right after. I live in Lawrence. I don’t feel safe all the time, but I have it safer than others.

I haven’t been physically assaulted. I haven’t been forced to use the bathroom of my biological sex and then be attacked for doing so.

I’m not being doxxed. I haven’t been swatted and held at the end of an assault rifle because transphobes in online forums decided to write threats pretending to be me and send them to politicians.

Keffals, a streamer and activist for trans rights, has — all because she stood up and said enough was enough. Her entire life has been uprooted because she stands up for trans kids and calls out bigotry when she sees it. Keffals has not only been swatted and doxxed, but she was sent pizzas from online harassers indicating that they had doxxed her again.

I wish I could say this story had concluded after that, but no. Even after using a third party to book another Airbnb, and despite using VPNs to do so, Keffals’ Uber account was hacked, hundreds of her dollars were spent in sending her food to her Airbnb.

According to the CBC, she’s now planning to leave her home country for a while. Others, targeted by relentless harassment, have died by suicide.

I’ve been fortunate so far. I’ve only had words thrown at me.

I don’t have a single solution for willful ignorance. We have to continue using our voices to create action. We have to extend our energy to those willing to listen and remove those from power who aren’t.

I’m proud to be myself, but I’m exhausted from intentional attacks. I’m not going to shut up. I’m tired of the trans experience being overshadowed with the hate thrown our way, and the discrimination we face. I’m striving to take back my narrative — to write my own story. When I say I’m trans, I want people to associate that with the love of being my genuine self, not the hateful rhetoric or latest story of a hate crime.

Ad astra per aspera.

We need to dismantle the barriers and obstacles preventing Kansas from being a safe and free state for everyone before we can reach the stars.

Through its opinion section, the Kansas Reflector works to amplify the voices of people who are affected by public policies or excluded from public debate. Find information, including how to submit your own commentary, here.